Yeah, I know. That is a strange blog post title. But both sentiments are accurate.
…since I posted….
The whole writing thing…kind of went out the window. I don’t do well in winter. Well, it is really the lack of sunlight that does me in…and you all know that living off of a Great Lake = NO SUN. We’ve even had a record-breaking year for how warm AND sunny it has been AND I went to Florida for 2 weeks, and still got the blahs.
Blah, blah, blah.
I am back now.
…and since I smelled bad…
So, what I discovered in the early part of this winter, is that I stink. No, that’s not true. I have known for a long time that I stink. I mean, ripe here. Early this winter though, I decided that enough is enough. Some serious bad funk started to come from me. Thyroid disease, hormonal disruptions, four kids later, and maybe some other reasons, probably all contributed to this funk, but honestly…I HAD to take a shower everyday. It was just non-negotiable. Sometimes, twice a day – and I still smelled bad. This is not environmentally friendly. It is not even friendly to my poor, dried out skin. And to make matters worse, even when I got out of the shower…my pits STILL smelled funky – just not as funky as they had before I stepped in the shower. My pits smelled slightly bad and slightly like Lady Speedstick. What’s a girl to do?!
My old standby Lady Speedstick anti-perspirant was failing me. I had already gone through all the natural deodorants like Crystal Spray, Tom’s of Maine etc etc. NONE of them worked. My husband recommended Degree, but I turned him down. I know all about the health dangers of anti-perspirant, but really, I smelled so bad that I couldn’t NOT wear it…could I?
I was on a mission to uncover the root of the funk. It was a smelly job, but someone had to do it. I may have a super-sniffer, but I am used to stinky jobs. And hey, I’ve been changing diapers for so many years, I don’t even recall when I wasn’t changing diapers, so I can’t tell you. That made me the most qualified Secret Stink Detective.
My first order of business as SSD was to list the facts.
Just the fact, ma’am, just the facts.
Fact 1: I didn’t always have this problem. This was a problem that started after my C-section. Something hormonally shifted in me, or maybe my body just got fed up with toxins. I don’t really know. I just know that from the moment I had my C-section up until this winter, I fought a smelly downhill battle.
Fact 2: I smelled bad, and I offended myself. It was embarrassing. I apologized to my husband a lot. He is such a sweet guy, he always claimed not to notice. I tried to make sure I smelled “less bad” when he was around.
Fact 3: I had really bad night sweats. Not every night, but several times a week. Bad enough that I would change the sheets, and my pjs etc. What made no sense to me, is that I went to bed COLD, like “BBRRR!”, yet would wake up an hour later ON FIRE (well, not really on fire, because I was covered in sweat, which is salt-water, but you get the point, right?).
Fact 4: Whether or not I recently applied Lady Speedstick, and whether or not I had just stepped out of the shower – I always smelled a little bit like Lady Speedstick.
Fact 5: I wasted an incredible amount of water, detergent and time trying to get myself not to smell too bad. I washed several loads per week of king sized bedding and medium sized pjs.
Fact 6: My husband never once complained. Not even when he woke up drenched in my sweat, because I was curled up to him. He is a better man than I!
As a SSD, I did all sorts of research.
I went to the doctor. They suggested “prescription strength” anti-perspirant.
No thanks, I just want to know why I smell so bad.
I had hormone tests done. Nope, everything that could be measured was “normal”.
Hmmm, no ideas were forthcoming from the medical community.
Just a prescription to try to mask the problem (in more than one way!)
Online resources suggested that my body was toxic.
More online research suggested that aluminum (present in all anti-perspirants) builds up in your body. In small quantities, it is OK, but applying LSP everyday, sometimes multiple times per day is not a small quantity. (Off topic: Aluminum is also in vaccines, and also in much of our drinking water. We don’t need to ever supplement our diet with aluminum, we get MORE THAN ENOUGH every day just by living the life that we do!).
Ahh, so it is the aluminum right? Quite possibly. Also, a suspect in endocrine diseases (like thyroid!).
I am pretty sure that all those other ingredients on the label of LSP weren’t doing me any favors either. They certainly weren’t helping me to smell better.
My job as SSD led me to stumble.
I stumbled across a blog all about smelly mamas (and here, I apologize, I simply do not recall the name of this blog AT ALL). But the blog discussed my problem. And then it suggested making a homemade deodorant. Not an anti-perspirant, but a deodorant. So, by using this, I am going to sweat, and we already have established that my sweat stinks, right?
You read that correctly. In fact, my sweat does not actually smell terrible. It does smell terrible when I have LSP on (or any other “anti-perspirant/deodorant).
Here’s how it went down:
Day 1: I chose a Saturday because I didn’t have to leave the house.
I whip up a homemade deodorant recipe of the following: Coconut oil, baking powder, corn starch and a few drops of tea tree oil. I look at this powdery goo and think,
“I could eat this!”, and am not at all sure how I feel about this fact. I put some on my fingertips, smear it on the pits and wait for the funk to begin. Keep in mind, I already smell a bit funky, because I always smell like LSP.
I go about my day.
End of the day: I don’t smell any worse than I did at the beginning of the day. WHAT? I know that I got sweaty chasing around my kids. I know that the pits of my shirt got damp – but my tee doesn’t smell any worse either! HOLY COW – total fluke!
I go to bed. I have no night sweats.
Day 2: I smear it on again. I didn’t take a shower this AM. I go about my day. That evening, I get ready to take a shower, POSITIVE that I am going to smell bad because hey, it’s been like, almost TWO days. But nope, my results are the exact same as yesterday.
I take a shower. I don’t smell as much like LSP as usual. I don’t really smell all that funky either. The “edible deodorant” also makes the razor burn go away. I didn’t even know that my armpit skin was irritated, until now I realize that it is not irritated. It feels…good.
To make a long story short, by the end of week 1, I no longer smelled like LSP at all, whether or not I have showered. I don’t smell bad at all. I sweat, yes, but it is appropriate to the activity. I can go TWO days between showers. I have not had a single night sweat for an entire week. It has been almost four years since that has happened.
Next up, is convincing the husband to try it. He is a die – hard Degree fan. “It’s the only one that works. I sweat. I stink. A lot!” (of course, keep in mind, that my husband has NEVER smelled even CLOSE to as bad as me, but still, he thinks he smells terrible and needs Degree). But, perhaps my husband has noticed that my edible deodorant is working - because he agrees to try it, with virtually no argument. And it works. Totally. My husband doesn’t smell. From day 1 on, it works. Forget the whole “Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman” BS (and what the hell does that mean anyway?!).
My edible deodorant WORKS miracles.
So, I’ve tinkered with the recipe a bit, and came up with a few preferences. But here it is. This is great for sensitive skin too (who DOESN’T have sensitive skin? Our skin absorbs EVERYTHING we put on it!)
Remember, it is deodorant, not anti-perpirant, so you will still sweat, but you won’t smell bad! You also won’t sweat nearly as much as you think you will. I sweat LESS using this than I ever did using an anti-perspirant. And, sweating is an important way for our bodies to detox. You really don’t want all that funk stuck up in your lymph nodes. : )
6T cornstarch (make sure it is ORGANIC, so you are not putting funky GMOs into your pits!)
2T baking soda (make sure it says ALUMINUM FREE)
10+ drops of tea tree oil
You can stop here, or add 10+ drops of your preferred essential oil scent.
I used 10+ drops of lavender too.
Whisk it all together.
Add 1 tsp of coconut oil at a time ( i used three total).
It is powdery, and you just put a tad bit on your fingertips and spread (it really spreads!).
If you want it to have more substance, add more coconut oil, or about 1tsp of liquid African Black Soap (my husband loves ABS – it is GREAT for skin problems!).
At this point, you can use it as it is, as a powder, as a paste, or pack an old deodorant container full of it, let it set for the day..and there you go! Enjoy!
Some hints, tips and everyday wisdom: If you leave it in a bowl, and set it in the sunlight, it will all melt together (coconut oil melts at 76 degrees) into a nice free-from paste. This makes it incredibly easy to put into an old deodorant container. Mash the paste in, and put it in the fridge. WALLAH! In a couple of hours, you have a deodorant stick just like you are used to. As long as your home stays below 76ish, no problems. If you want it more solid, keep it in the fridge. I haven’t had any issues at all. I like the powdery form best actually . . .but hubby LOVES the stick.
So, for several months now, I’ve been keeping my LSP, just in case, I need an anti-perspirant.
It went into the trash can today. Smell you later!!!!